“Just saying yes because you can't bear the short-term pain of saying no is not going to help you do the work” – Seth Godin

Justin (not his real name) was a great guy who got along well with his colleagues.

What was undermining Justin though was he had the dangerous combination of being super conscientious and a people pleaser…

While these might seem like admirable traits, they had become toxic to Justin because he put everyone else’s feelings and priorities ahead of his own.

And others kept on taking advantage of his good nature.

The impact of this over time saw Justin:

❌ Working long hours without achieving his goals

❌ Frustrated

❌ Overwhelmed

❌ Stressed

❌ Not feeling like he could relax when he was with his family

If Justin was going to be successful, he couldn’t continue working like this.

Justin needed to stop being such a people pleaser. Breaking this habit wasn’t going to be easy because Justin simply liked being liked plus he enjoyed helping others.

However, Justin’s manager was resolute in supporting Justin to realise his potential. Justin was given permission to:

👉 Say “No”

👉 Express his opinion

👉 Take a stand for what he believed in

Making the transition didn’t necessarily come easy for Justin; he needed to keep focus on why he needed to change.

However, after persevering with it for 3 months, Justin:

✔️ Improved productivity

✔️ Worked less hours

✔️ Completed more of his most important work

✔️ Felt more in control of his destiny

✔️ Got back to enjoying time with his family

With the benefit of hindsight, Justin realised he was getting in the way of himself from being effective. And the ripple effect from this onto his personal life was significant.

When is it ok to push back on demands from others?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.